The People Skills Blog

3 Lessons from a Disappointing Loss

Last week I told you about my daughter's dilemma on her soccer team and how she is determined to give 100% to keep her roster spot.  So far, she is doing well and as far as we know, her position is safe.  Saturday though I witnessed something quite profound at her game that I think you'll appreciate.

As we watched our girls warming up, I couldn't help but notice how big the girls from the other team were.  Some looked to be around 15 or 16.  I was a little nervous wondering how our team would perform.  When the game started, our girls went on the attack, running extremely hard and frustrating the other team.  By the end of the half, they were up 3 to 0!

The second half was a much different story.  Our girls seemed to run out of gas and the other team pressed hard. The momentum shifted and we lost the game 5 to 3.  It was extremely disappointing for them and for us too! 

What did I learn?

1. No matter how ominous the challenge looks, run hard at it and you'll have a much better chance of succeeding.
2. If you find yourself succeeding when you though you'd fail, be sure to keep doing what worked for you!
3. If you find yourself failing, don't quit.  Take some time to regroup, figure out what's working and what's not, and then make adjustments.

My hope is that our team learns from this game.  I know I certainly took something away from it!  Hopefully this helps.

Have a great week!

Navigating the Chess Match of Life

Surely you've heard about the ripple effect.  A pipeline bursts in Alaska and the speculation of disaster results in higher gas prices.  Forecasted snow brings a rush on groceries and snow shovels.  The thought of potential shortage spikes the price of the Christmas gifts to three times the intended retail value.  It's cause and potential effect.

In the same way, our actions produce a ripple effect.  Life is a bit like a chess match.  For us to win, we need to think three moves ahead.  Every potential move from the opponent should result in a selected strategy to counter.  Nothing is left to chance.  Unfortunately, few people choose to live their lives this way.

Recently I taught a workshop on management skills to a group of Executive Assistants.  One attendee complained initially of a boss who refused to delegate tasks to her and how this made her job incredibly boring and miserable.  Meanwhile, her boss was terrible to deal with, complete with emotional outbursts and other unpredictable behaviors.  She was very unhappy and even did her final group project focusing on a way to get her boss to trust her.  If he only knew the ripple effect his personal management style was having on his staff. 

I've seen this often with clients.  One or two bad decisions leading to an steady stream of negative consequences.  Our actions today produce results that either bring joy or sorrow...with interest.  If this concerns you, why not take these three steps when making important decisions:

1. Look at the consequences to me.  What will this action result in.  What are the short term and long term effects.  Will I benefit or suffer because of this decision in both the immediate and distant future.
2. Look at the consequences to others.  Will this action draw people to me or drive them away.  Who else will feel the negative effects of a poor decision.  Family?  Friends?  Co-workers?  Staff members?
3. Look at the consequences to my career.  Will my action produce benefits to help me reach my goals or will this cause severe impediments?  Could this decision become a career-killer?  Will I look back 5 years from now and kick myself for the decisions I make?

Life is full of choices.  It's what makes our day to day existence so dynamic.  We're products of our choices but so (fortunately or unfortunately) are our family, friends, co-workers, and staff members.  Take some time this week to consider the ripple effect.  Every action produces reactions.  Let's make sure the reactions are the ones we hope for.  The beginning of a new year is a great time to start a new strategy.  Maybe this is a good one to kick off with?

Career Lessons from Ants

As you might imagine, coming up with a posting for my blog or Career Fitness Tips each and every week can be somewhat challenging.  Most of the time, I have some strange observation from my travels that seems post-worthy, but on other weeks, like this one, I'm absolutely (figuratively) speechless. 

To help me out, I thought I'd just pick a random quote or statement from the media, books, or other places, and expound on it as a Career Fitness Tip.  If you can guess who the quote was from, I'll email you a electronic copy of one of my books.  How does that sound?

Here's this week's Words of Wisdom:

Take a lesson from the ants, you lazybones. Learn from their ways and be wise! Even though they have no prince, governor, or ruler to make them work, they labor hard all summer, gathering food for the winter. But you, lazybones, how long will you sleep? When will you wake up? I want you to learn this lesson:

A little extra sleep, a little more slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest--and poverty will pounce on you like a bandit; scarcity will attack you like an armed robber.

So what does this mean for us here in the 21st Century? 

Well, you don't have to read to far into it to figure it out.  Basically, it's a call for us to work harder!  Now I know most of you would tell me you already work hard, but are you working on what matters?  If ants just build tunnels to nowhere, would they really add value?  Don't confuse hours at work with accomplishment.  If you can't tell your boss at any given moment what you're working on and WHY it matters, there's probably no value in it. 

I know this sounds harsh, but I'm absolutely convinced that a lot of people do the absolute minimum to get by and treat work as an entitlement.  If you've been laid off in this Great Recession, I know you'll never look at work as an entitlement again.  In a strange sense, it's a privilege to work. 

What do we learn from the ants?

1. Ants work hard without somebody telling them what to do.  If you're like me, you hate micromanagement.  Are you doing something that causes your boss to micromanage you?  If so, STOP DOING IT!  Be proactive and look for things to do.  Do a good job at what you do.  Don't cut corners.  Show how you're adding value.
   
   
2. Ants are proactive.  Are you anticipating what's coming down the line?  You know, it doesn't take a whole lot of inside information to figure out upcoming changes at work.  Just keep your ear to the ground and listen.  If you see something major coming your way and have the power to leverage it to your advantage, do it!  Being proactive means anticipating and then acting.  Ants don't wait for invitations do they?  Why would you?

Final thoughts?  A little extra sleep, a little folding of the hands to rest -- and poverty will pounce on you.  Hey how about not taking your job for granted and putting into cruise control?  I can't tell you how many of my career coach clients told me "I never thought they could lay me off!"  If you're not adding value, you're expendable.  Let's all commit to putting 110% into our worklife if we want it to be there for us.  And, if you're not willing, it may be time to find a different career.  No shame in that - and I'm happy to help you with that!

Now, if you can guess who the quote is from, contact me using the "Contact me" button at the top of the page and let me know.  The first correct response gets a electronic copy of my book Endeavor to Persevere: 10 Steps to Create Breakthrough in Your Personal and Professional Life!

How to be an INTRAprenuer

Be sure to check out this week's tip on YouTube by clicking HERE!

Last week I showed you how to add value (and job security) to yourself by learning how to solve four types of problems.  Hopefully you've had a chance to put some of that knowledge to use.

This week we want to focus on helping your organization make money.

You've probably heard of entrepreneurs.  These are people who start their own businesses, often at great risk, for the reward of having control and being able to make dreams come true.  Entrepreneurs (and I know this from being one) are forced to think critically about every dollar that's spent and make the most of each opportunity to try and make money. 

Even if you're not up for this rollercoaster ride, you can still use principles we use and become an INTRApreneur!  I know that terms sounds weird, but it makes total sense.  To add value, you have to think of your organization as YOUR company.  Here are some suggestions to get your INTRApreneurial spirit engaged: 

1. Look for new markets.  Think of this company as your own. If you can't see opportunities coming down the road, your company can go bust.  This is your chance to do some networking and prospecting on behalf of your company. 
2. Establish networks.  Let people know where your work and what you do.  Think of ways to find common connections with everyone you meet.  Show them that your company is one they should do business with.
3. Think of office resources as your own.  In my home office, I count paperclips, paper, and other office supplies.  I have to pay for these so I control their use.  It comes right off my bottom line.  I know the temptation to leave with little things from your office, but remember, it comes off YOUR bottom line.  Protect your office from this kind of innocent pilferage.
4. Come up with a constant stream of innovative ideas.  In the old days, new ideas were probably swept under the rug or stolen by other office mates.  Nowadays, your ability to come up with a creative idea may save your company from going under.  This isn't the time to play games.  Make sure you communicate with everyone above you if you have a great idea.

I know these seem like they should be the responsibility of someone else, but if your own job security is on the line, don't you think you might want to step up?  Remember, job security is never a guarantee with the same company, but if you can do the four steps above, you'll learn some powerful techniques that will make any organization a success. 

And who knows, maybe someday that business you're protecting will be your own!

Success Principle #5: Commit to Continuous Learning

For the past month or so, we've been focusing on 10 Principles for Personal and Professional Success. So far, we've discovered that in order to be successful, we have to define success, have big dreams, set good goals, and to let go of assumed constraints.  This week, let's focus on personal growth.

What have you done in the past 12 months to learn a new skill, add a new technique, or master a new trade?  What was the last book you read? (trashy novels don't count)  Have you taken a class, listened to a motivational or educational CD, or sat in a professional development workshop?  If not, why?

Your mind is like a muscle.  If you don't use it, expect atrophy.  Let me give you a personal example. 

Back in 1985, I came back home on leave from overseas where I was stationed while in the Navy.  I was helping my dad clear out some junk in the attic when I came across a box of old school papers from my senior year in High School.  As I read through them, it was almost as if they were written by someone else.  I was amazed!  It was hard to believe I wrote those papers.  Then I took a good look at what I was doing currently.  Working, partying, and little else.  My brain had atrophied to the point where I felt lazy and bored.  Frankly, I was disgusted with myself.  When I returned from leave, I went to the Navy Campus office on base and signed up for my first college class - Introduction to Physics.  It was a tough class, but by reengaging my dormant brain cells,  I was able to turn it around and got an "A".  I celebrated that achievement and kept going.  Eventually, I worked my way up to a Master's Degree going to school in the evenings and on weekends. It was a personal victory and one I've never forgotten. 

Throughout life, we face competition on all fronts.  It may be to get a great job, keep a great job, or get a promotion in that great job.  If we want to be a great athlete, teacher, parent or partner, we still face that same competition from peers, neighbors, friends, and others.  No matter what we do, professional development can help.  Fortunately, we live in an age where information is readily available.  There's no excuse for not learning something new each day.  It just takes a commitment to get it done. 

This week, think about making your professional development a daily habit.  It can start small and if you stick with it, I promise it will become part of your daily routine.  If you talk to my dad, you'd swear he has a PhD.  Actually, he has a high school diploma supplemented with years of studying the dictionary.  Having command of the spoken or written word is a great start!  Make it a point to learn a new word each day. If you need help, sign up to get a new word emailed to you each day at Merriam-Webster Online.  Next, pick up a book and read for one hour a day.  If a book seems a little intimidating, try a Reader's Digest magazine.  You'll get a wide variety of topics that are practical and relevant.  Maybe a book on tape or on your iPod would get you started.  When your confidence is up and your brain in a little better shape, sign up for a college course.  Many community colleges offer workforce education programs that are less intimidating than a standard course.  Get started there and move toward taking regular courses for a degree or certification.  Before you know it, you'll approach life, work, and relationships with more confidence.

I'm passionate about this only because I've personally experienced the benefits. Please take some steps this week to add professional development into your routine!

Success Principle #4: Let Go of Assumed Constraints

Have you ever been to the circus and seen the elephants standing in the paddock?  Most often you'll find them shackled on one leg and connected to a post in the ground.   I don't know about you, but it seems to me if that 19,000 lb elephant was ticked off enough, it could yank that stump out of the ground and come after you.

But it doesn't.  Do you wonder why?

Most likely, when that elephant was very young, somebody shackled it the very same way onto a stump in the ground.  Not knowing any better, that elephant yanked and pulled against it, causing that shackle to cut into its leg.  Because an elephant never forgets, it realized the pain would be there no matter how big and strong it grew.  Consequently, as an adult, it no longer pulls against the chain.  We call that phenomenon an Assumed Constraint.

Assumptions can be dangerous - particularly if we make them without current data.  If we listen to them, we'll think of every good reason why we won't succeed.  Assuming we can't get past a sticking point in our life guarantees we won't, no matter how hard we try.  Henry Ford knew this principle when he penned his oft-quoted line "If you think you can or can't, you're right."

Assumed constraints begin subtly enough. We make an attempt at something and fail.  Then we begin to identify the reasons.  After gathering that data, we start looking at the causes and most often link that to a previous failure we, or someone close to us, experienced.  Before long, we start justifying that failure and immediately lower our expectations and goals.  Why keep trying if I (or someone I love) tried and failed too?  Not everyone can be successful or wealthy.  Somebody has to finish in second place.  Maybe I shouldn't expect too much, that way I won't be disappointed. 

What a bunch of crap!

Who says you can't achieve that goal?  Why CAN'T you finish in first place, get that dream job, or earn that college degree?  We spend so much time justifying our failures that we leave no time to build the knowledge or skills to achieve the goal!  This world is filled with so much opportunity yet most people give up way too early.

This week, why not take some time to look at every piece of negative self-talk that goes through your head or leaves your lips.  Instead of telling yourself why you can't, try asking yourself how you will.  Life is too short to fritter it away with a bunch of regrets.  I'm up for some real success this year.  I hope you are too!

Success Principle #3: Set Good Goals

We're on week #3 in our series 10 Steps to Personal and Professional Success. So far we've discovered why it's important to define success and dream big.  Now we need to move the process forward by setting some good goals.

The pursuit of goals should be a part of our daily life.  If we've defined a big dream, we know it's impossible to achieve it over night.  We'll need a series of goals to put our actions into a strategic process.

Think about it this way.  In 1994, Jim Collins wrote a book entitled Built to Last – Successful Habits of Visionary Companies. In that book, he examined companies that were successful for decades, and in some cases, centuries.  These were companies that withstood economic issues, changes in culture, and even distaste in public opinion and yet always managed to survive.  He gave many reasons for this longevity and backed them up with research.  One reason companies in Collins’ book succeeded was that they set really good goals.  Now these weren’t just ordinary old goals, in fact Collins made the point that these goals far exceeded expectation and in some cases, common sense.  His term for this type of goal was the Big Hairy Audacious Goal or the BHAG.  As a career coach, I like this concept!  It's a lot like the dreams we talked about last week. 

BHAGs defy logic because they’re so darned grandiose.  They give us something really BIG to shoot for and they define a roadmap for us to follow.  They’re more than just end-states.  A BHAG that says “I want to be wealthy” or “I want to be happy” isn’t specific.  How much money is wealthy enough? How happy is happy?  My thought is to define a condition or position that gives you the end-state and make that your BHAG. 

Let me give you an example.  My passion in life is to develop the next great generation of managers.  It comes from many years toiling under some really bad ones.  It was the inspiration for one of my other books, 12 Simple (but not simplistic) Principles Every Manager Needs to Know.  Several years ago, I brainstormed a list of ways that passion could be realized and I finally decided the best way to get the message out was through mass media – my own television show.  I envisioned it as a one-hour slot where I could bring bad managers up on stage, expose bad behavior, and then assist them with strategies to fix it.  To me, this was a worthwhile endeavor and I made it my BHAG.

The hard part about BHAGs is that they’re difficult to achieve.  If they were easy, we couldn’t call them BHAGs.  In my case, there’s no straight shot to having a TV show, so I simply envisioned the BHAG as the pinnacle of a mountain and started my journey through a series of switchbacks – diagonal trails that inch up a mountain. 

Can you see how the process works?  In my case, the BHAG is so big that I’ll never get straight there.  My career progression post-Navy was all geared though toward achieving it.  Every move was calculated and strategic.  My books, articles, keynotes, and web profile are designed to show expertise in dealing with people, particularly those in management.  My job is to get the message out that I have something important to share with the world.  Through networking, I’m confident this goal will be realized although it will of course take time.  But it’s given me a guide and that’s helped me go after certain business and turn down other stuff.  The BHAG is my career strategic plan.

So how are you doing?  Can you identify a BHAG?  If so, have you mapped out a process to achieve it?  I know plenty of people who can talk a good game and wow us with their dream, but this is only valid if you believe you can do it and you have a plan (which you work) to actually achieve it.  Take some time this week to put this process into action!

Looking for Your Dream Job? Help has Arrived!

I normally don't advertise on my blog, but I just had to share!

Unemployed, Under-Employed, or Unhappily Employed?… 

"You can get off the dead-end road of your current career or job and find meaningful work that will have you looking forward to Mondays!"

Discover how to identify your ideal career or job and gain new skills and tools to go out and land it!

Dear Friend, 

• Do you toss and turn every Sunday night dreading your current job or career?

• Does Monday begin the long, slow countdown to Friday and the promise of a weekend respite from your pain? 

• Are you living “vacation to vacation?”

• Do you envy others who love their jobs and find great satisfaction in them?

I did.  My name is Malcolm O. Munro, the Career Fitness Coach, and after 15 years of military service as both a dental assistant and I.T. manager, two jobs I hated, I knew there had to be something better. Don't get me wrong, I loved the Navy and serving my country, but  I promised myself my second career would have me looking forward to Fridays AND Mondays.  My journey took me through years of working in HR departments, learning how the hiring process worked, and more recently into a career in training and development where I now teach and coach clients through career transition and personal and professional development.

Let me tell you, if your career is lacking, you’re not alone.  Many people find themselves stuck in jobs or careers that are boring, stressful, or simply waste their real talents.  Fortunately, you don’t have to live like this.    In Marketing Yourself for Your Dream Job: How to Get the Job and Career You’ve Always Wanted, I’ll give you the formula for identifying your dream job or career and the tools to land it.

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Here's what I'll teach you in nearly 250 pages of easy-to-digest, practical material:

5 ways to identify your dream job or career 7 important values every organization requires employees to “own” 10 Urban Legends about job searching and how to bust them The #1, best place on the planet to find a job 8 important tools every job seeker needs to carry An easy, step-by-step process to write a winning resume The most important question you’ll ever be asked in an interview and how to answer it 3 simple steps to negotiating the BEST salary and benefits package 6 personal strategies you can implement  to guarantee job security for life PLUS - access to a separate, password protected site where you can download copies of all the tools, templates, and go-bys in my book!

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I coach and teach hundreds of career seekers individually and in workshops each year.  Listen to what they say after working with me: 

Tammy G. from Clarksburg, MD came to me after wrestling with her current job situation, wondering if she should make the leap to a new position.  She did!  Here's what she said:

"I no longer suffer from having two Mondays in my work week! I can’t thank you enough for what your skill, insight and ability to encourage others has done for me. I not only acquired a new job but I learned more about myself than I could have ever imagined.”

Or how about Annie R. from Hamilton, VA?  Annie was laid off from her position 2 months before the Christmas holidays and was struggling with a strategy to get rehired.  After working with me, Annie was able to land a great position and is now happier than ever!  Here's what she says:

“Malcolm provided me with tremendous help for job interviews, salary negotiations, and an overall positive philosophy towards my job search.  The simplicity of his teaching was without a doubt helpful during that time of despair and confusion.”

I also do many workshops each year for folks in career transition.  Here's what attendees have to say:

"Thank you so much for the time you dedicated to us this week.  You made me feel less intimidated by the prospect of leaving my comfort zone and venturing out into the vast unknown." Tom H. Columbia, MD

"I have to first thank you for everything you put out this week. You are truly an inspiring person/job coach. I find myself using the skills you taught all of us already." Chris T. Leesville, LA

"The class was great. Mission accomplished: you inspired AND informed! I think I speak for everyone in the class when I say I was very impressed with you and your presentation of the myriad of information. My head's still spinning, but in a very good way." Manny S. Colorado Springs, CO

I know what I'm talking about and my clients can vouch for it.  Now I want to be your coach and help you through this important process!

Just because your parents, grandparents, and great-grandparents suffered through unhappy careers, doesn’t mean you have to. Work doesn’t have to be “work.”  

Why not rediscover your dreams and take charge of your career?  I’ll show you how to figure out what job and career field is the best fit for you.  You’ll then learn how combine preparation and practice into a one-two punch that will land you interviews and win you the job. for just $25.00, you’ll approach the process with a newfound confidence and have the tools to gain full control of your work life.

I, and now lots of my clients, have dream jobs and careers. 

There’s one out there for you too. Let me show you how to get it!

Sincerely, 

Malcolm O. Munro The Career Fitness Coach

Are You A Political Animal?

What do you think about politics?  Love them?  Hate them?  Wish you could just ignore them?

Most of us have strong feelings about politics.  We can't turn the news on without seeing the latest from the Presidential races.  Barak Obama has Oprah.  Hillary Clinton has the lead.  John Edwards has great hair.  The Republicans also get plenty of airtime.  John McCain's fading campaign.  Mitt Romney's religion.  Mike Huckabee's ass-kicking partner Chuck Norris.  Rudy Giuliani's steady references to New York and 9-11.

On the other hand, some of us think about the deviousness of politics.  The back-biting of The Office. The "naked fat guy" Richard Hatch from the original Survivor who forged alliances on either side in order to remain on the show.

Politics are a fact of life.  Love them or hate them, you must realize they exist.  Think about a big presentation you had to make at work.  If you really planned it well, you probably envisioned everyone in the room and developed a strategy to get their commitment.  If you did, you played politics.  If as a teenager you lobbied your mother to convince your father you should get to borrow his car for a big date, you also played politics.  Before dismissing politics as devious and underhanded, take some time to realize their importance.  In order to be successful as a leader or manager, you'll need the power of politics.  Here are some suggestions for maximizing their potential:

1. Learn who the players are in your organization. You don't have to like politics but you'll need to use them.  Take some time to figure out who influences certain decisions.  Find out where these people stand on your cause.  Build relationships with all, not just for the short term benefit, but for the long haul.  Alliances within your organization can benefit you throughout your entire tenure.
2. Realize they exist and your use of them is inevitable. If it bothers you, don't use the term politics.  Try influence instead.  In order to get what we need, we have to do some groundwork first.  There are people we need on our side and some who we need to strongly convince of our credibility.  We may need someone to go on our behalf to make our case.  This is politics.
3. Use them to influence, not coerce or manipulate. Coercion is a nice way of arm-twisting.  It's making a very strong case and not letting up until you get commitment.  Manipulation is using tactics to convince someone to do something they would ordinarily not do because of strong feelings or personal conviction.  Neither tactic is my recommendation.  Influence is a normal part of negotiation used by presenting facts and credible opinions.  Influence is permissible and acceptable.
4. Never use politics alone to establish your credibility. Politics are a tool, not an end-state.  Skills without politics have limited potential.  Politics without skills are useless and you'll be seen as a piece of fluff rather than a valued player.  Develop the skills and talents first.

As we move into the height of the political season, take a look at the players on the national stage.  Watch their use of words and non-verbals.  See who they form alliances with.  For just a moment, step out of your own biases, both personal and partisan, and appreciate politics in action. If you use politics for the right reason, you'll achieve your goals much faster and build strong support for all your initiatives.  Take some time this week to assess your own political power.

Thank God it's Friday?

This past Friday I was in downtown Washington DC visiting some coaching clients.  The building I work out of on Fridays is multi story and requires visitors to check in with security and sign in.  A middle-aged woman was working behind the desk.  I asked her how she was doing.  Her reply was a cheery "great, today is Friday!"

Ironically, the Friday before there was a different woman working behind that desk and her reply was exactly the same.  In fact, my personal experience tells me most people are at their very best, their very happiest, on Friday.  Monday through Thursday seems to put most folks in a depressed, mechanical trance.  Take a look at the people who are sitting next to you on the bus or Metro those days.  Look at the people on either side of you as you sit in traffic on the highway.  Lots of drab, emotionless expressions...

The question is, why does happiness in life have to revolve around getting through the workweek and into the weekend?  Does a working life need to be one of pre-planned, five day misery? 

Absolutely not!

As a career coach, I work with many people who've been laid off.  While most are shocked and depressed, many of them are slightly relieved that the daily grind received a respite.  My job is to work with them to not only get A job, but their DREAM job.  It's a very exciting prospect, but most rewarding when a client tells me they no longer dread Mondays.  If this sounds like you, then pay attention while I list out the components of a DREAM job.  You dream job fits your:

1.  Passion - the things in life that energize you, motivate you, and completely interest you.  While working in your passion area, time flies and you would even consider doing these kinds of activities as a volunteer.

2.  Personality - the way you are "hard-wired."  A personality fit is one where you feel energized, challenged but not beat up, organized in the way that suits you, and structured into a perfect fit.

3.  Strengths and Natural Abilities - the abilities and talents that are a perfect match.  Everyone has these, but if this is a perfect fit, then each of your special gifts and talents are used to the fullest.

4. Preference - the specifics of the job itself.  This could be the company size, the location, the amount of job challenge, the degree of autonomy and flexibility.

5.  Goals - the hopes and dreams you have for the future.  These are mostly long-term and have little to do with end-states (such as being "happy" or "successful")

Can you have it all?  Absolutely!  Let me suggest that if those five components are met, money won't seem quite as important, you'll enjoy what you do, and most of all, you will no longer live for Friday!

So this week, take a good hard look at your work life.  Ask yourself about your attitude towards Friday and Monday. If you live for the former and dread the latter, then maybe now is the time for a complete career makeover.  Take some steps this week to establish some goals and identify areas you could leverage into a new and rewarding career.

Not telling you what to do, just offering you a suggestion!