The People Skills Blog

Activity is Not Achievement

This past week we lost one of the great coaches and mentors, John Wooden.  In his long career as head basketball coach at UCLA, he won 10 NCAA national championships and coached players such as Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, Lucius Allen, Gail Goodrich, Walt Hazzard, and Bill Walton.  While known for winning and leadership, he also left us with a plethora of great "Woodenisms" which are attributed to him.  Here is one of my favorites:

Never mistake activity for achievement.

As an entrepreneur, my days are either spent traveling or delivering management development workshops.  It's what I love to do and what pays my bills.  Any down days, which are fortunately (or sometimes unfortunately) rare, I try to build in time to get important back-work done such as writing web copy, updating sites, reaching out to colleagues and potential customers, and thinking up new projects.  I'm always amazed at how much precious time I waste. 

Many people confuse busyness with accomplishment.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  If you don't believe me, just take a look at this video clip from one of my favorite shows, Seinfeld. 

You've all heard of the Purpose Driven Life.  Maybe we all need to have a purpose driven day.  I like to think of it as that Friday right before you take a week of vacation.  Usually I get a good plan in place for the day on the night before and then on Friday, it's all business, taking care of stuff that won't be around to torment me in thought during my week off and won't need taking care of on my first Monday back.  I'm tired by the end of that day, but it's a different kind of tired...not exhaustion, but a satisfied, nothing left in the tank feeling of accomplishment.

I wonder what would happen if I approached each day like that?  Have you ever thought of trying it?  Why don't we make a commitment to doing it this week?

The Frightening Specter of Change

Yesterday, I spent the day in Troy, NY helping a group of managers grapple with some major organizational changes.  As I took them through the standard course materials, I realized they weren't "getting it."  Deviating from the script, I turned off the PowerPoint (which I can't stand by the way!) and we had a heart to heart.  It went something like this:

All of us are frustrated right now with the progress in the Gulf, capping the errant oil well.  Oil is still escaping and is now impacting beaches from Louisiana to Florida.  There is public pressure on BP and now citizens are misguidedly boycotting BP gas stations (those are independent franchises people - those hard-working Americans didn't cause the spill so QUIT harassing them!) while others call for the government to step in.  With all of those challenges, it would be easy for everyone involved to just throw up their hands and walk away.  The problem is, the oil just keeps coming out.  All of those predictions that the world will run out of oil aren't really that dire.  This could go on for years.  Somebody has got to step up and keep at it!

The managers in Troy would never give up, but some of their superstar staff members are.  They can't afford to quit and I know they won't.  They just need a chance to vent in a safe place and get back in the game.  Change, even a good change, is frightening.  Good managers, using my now famous analogy, need to keep the "pack" together, and keep them moving forward. 

How are you doing with change?  Are you paralyzed by it or do you need some time to process, vent, and then get back in the game?  I'm seriously considering re-working my business model to cut way back on my 90% travel schedule.  The prospects are scary for me too, but the benefits will far outweigh in the long run. I'm not going to let it stop me.   What will you be doing this week to deal with change?

These are the "Good Ol' Days"

This past week I took some downtime and went to Virginia Beach.  While there, we reconnected with our old boss from Naval Hospital Long Beach, Todd Graef.  It was great getting together and talking over the old times.

One of the things Todd mentioned was how in hindsight, some of the toughest times are the ones we refer to as the "good ol' days."   Ironically, the time I spent in Long Beach represented some of the darkest days in my personal life, yet as we talked over good food and wine, I realized then how much fun those years were.  More importantly, I realized how important the lessons I learned during that period have helped me build a successful business. 

When you think of the "good ol' days", what comes to mind?  Most often I find it either involves a particularly satisfying work experience, or some meaningful friendships.  It's rare that both happen at the same time.  For the longest time I looked back at my 15 years in the Navy as a stressful waste of time but after re-focusing, most of the bad times came from bad bosses.  After separating that from the equation, I realized how much fun my time in Australia, Long Beach, Guam, and Bremerton, Washington actually was.  Then I focused on the lessons I learned from the experiences.  Finally, I entered the bad bosses back into the equation and looked at their behavior as a lesson learned that I could share.   The end result?  My 15 year career was pretty darned good and I left it with a host of great information, lessons, and examples I can use now in business!

So how do you see the "good ol' days?"  Is it possible that a bad situation you're experiencing now could in fact someday be one of the best times in your life? 

All of us have a chance to define what will be our past each and every day.  What are you doing today to make this day one of the "good ol' days"?

3 Lessons from a Disappointing Loss

Last week I told you about my daughter's dilemma on her soccer team and how she is determined to give 100% to keep her roster spot.  So far, she is doing well and as far as we know, her position is safe.  Saturday though I witnessed something quite profound at her game that I think you'll appreciate.

As we watched our girls warming up, I couldn't help but notice how big the girls from the other team were.  Some looked to be around 15 or 16.  I was a little nervous wondering how our team would perform.  When the game started, our girls went on the attack, running extremely hard and frustrating the other team.  By the end of the half, they were up 3 to 0!

The second half was a much different story.  Our girls seemed to run out of gas and the other team pressed hard. The momentum shifted and we lost the game 5 to 3.  It was extremely disappointing for them and for us too! 

What did I learn?

1. No matter how ominous the challenge looks, run hard at it and you'll have a much better chance of succeeding.
2. If you find yourself succeeding when you though you'd fail, be sure to keep doing what worked for you!
3. If you find yourself failing, don't quit.  Take some time to regroup, figure out what's working and what's not, and then make adjustments.

My hope is that our team learns from this game.  I know I certainly took something away from it!  Hopefully this helps.

Have a great week!

Pushing Yourself Through Challenging Times

Last Friday, my eleven-year-old daughter was really bummed.  Her soccer coach mentioned that some new girls would be trying out for their team (she plays for MSI Classic in Maryland) and that he might be making some cuts.  Now she's a good soccer player - a goal keeper, but she doesn't start.  Making matters worse, one of the girls, the team's star player,  looked at her when the coach mentioned cuts - as if she would be the first to go.

Now I can understand that feeling.  I was cut from my 8th grade basketball team.  It hurts.  Mind you, she was not cut, but the word was out.  It could happen.

That night we had a conversation about it.  I told her that the only thing she had control over was her performance during the remaining four weeks of the season.  She could either choose to give up now, or work as hard as she could to retain her spot on the team.

I mentioned Tim Tebow, the newest member of the Denver Broncos football team.  Tebow is known as much for his lack of NFL-ready quarterback skills as he is for his insane work ethic.  He was projected to be a second or most likely third round pick, and probably to be used as a receiver or only in Wildcat formations.  Ironically, the two other quarterbacks most likely to get picked in the first round of the NFL draft, Colt McCoy and Jimmy Clausen fell to the second round while the Broncos traded up to get Tebow in the first round, specifically to be a quarterback.  The difference means that Tebow will make a lot more money by virtue of his first round selection.  We won't know for awhile whether the Broncos screwed up with this move or were exceptionally brilliant.  Regardless, they paid more for a player with heart than for one with skills. 

Time will tell if my daughter's new-found drive will save her spot on the team but at least she will go out swinging.  I'm proud of her and hope she keeps her spot.

What about you?  Are you willing to push yourself harder when faced with a challenge or do you simply fold?  Win or lose, at least by pushing yourself you can console yourself that you gave it your best shot.  I've won and lost business but have never lost a project because I didn't push myself.  It's part of the game.  I'm still up for the challenge.  Are you?

Attitude is a Choice

Have you ever had a job you hated?  I'm sure you have.  If so, I'm also sure you had to put on a "face" each day in order to survive.

That "face" you have to put on is really a simple term for a great attitude.  It's making the choice to make the very best of a bad situation.

Yesterday, I went to the local grocery store to pick up some hamburger buns.  The cashier was so friendly and upbeat that I saw nearly every one of the grim faced customers ahead of me in line perk up and leave with a big smile.  It was amazing to see and experience the energy that her positive attitude had on everyone.

Contrast that with another of the cashiers in the same store.  Several weeks ago I went through his line and asked him how he was doing. 

"Bad," he replied.  "I'm so depressed that I can't even function."

Wow," I said.  "Is it REALLY that bad?"

"I'm so miserable here that there is nothing on this planet that can make things better."

It was kind of disturbing and somewhat frightening.  I could have been speaking to that Disney character Eyore.  I have no clue what was going on in that man's head or in his life, but for that day it even depressed me.  He's still there (I saw him yesterday) so hopefully he's been able to sort out what's going on.

Here's my point.  Regardless of how you feel about a situation, your attitude is your choice.  By making the conscious decision to be positive, you'll make those around you happier and start feeling better yourself.

Many years ago while serving in the Navy, I was arm-twisted into giving dental health presentations at a local elementary school in Cerritos, CA. for Children's Dental Health Week.  I was irritated, annoyed, and just plain old grumpy having to do this.  Interestingly enough though, once I made the conscious choice to be positive in front of the kids, I actually had a great time.  The kids fed off my energy and I fed off theirs.  Each class laughed, got grossed out at the nasty photos of rotten teeth I showed them, and probably left with a renewed interest in brushing their teeth.  I realized that day how much I enjoyed doing presentations and it pushed me into my current career - which I am grateful for each and every day!

So this week, regardless of the circumstance or situation, make an effort to be positive.  You can create your atmosphere and environment, positive or negative, so figure out which one you'd rather have!

The Power of Humility

I've blogged in the past on the power of confidence over arrogance so I won't repeat that now.  Instead, I'd like to share an insight I got this past weekend at The Red Zone National Men's Conference I attended on Saturday with my dad and son Dustin.  Now this was a Christian conference but before you rush to unsubscribe, let me assure you the insight has nothing to do with religion.  Rather it's an example of confidence and humility overpowering arrogance.

In one of the breakouts on leadership, former Washington Redskins players talked about their experiences as young men in the NFL.  When asked about their greatest moment, each one responded with great humility.

• Brian Carpenter: Spoke about how impressive it was to watch Giants' linebacker Lawrence Taylor play.
• James Thrash: Talked about his first touchdown and how then Redskins Coach Norv Turner bitched him out on the sideline for hotdogging to the crowd.
• LaVar Arrington: Reflected on how great it was to take a big block from an offensive tackle so Bruce Smith could get the all-time sack record which led to his selection to the Pro Football Hall of Fame.

Each of these men certainly had great personal highlights but chose to reflect on how great it was to play with other great players.  I was impressed.  In doing this, I thought much more about these men than if each had regaled us with tales of their personal successes.

What are you doing to recognize the accomplishments of those around you?  I'm discovering that the more we lift others up, the more respect we get.  You have to give it away in order to get it.

This week I'm going to look for ways to recognize those around me and promote their accomplishments.  I think it will be pretty exciting to try.  Will you join me?

Taking Pride in Your Profession

This past week I had an incredible time teaching management skills to a great group of managers at Pratt & Whitney Canada in Longueuill, QC. The group was a mix of all different types of people but heavily represented by engineers. 

One of the things I noticed in the engineers was the pride they took in the little silver pinky rings on their fingers.  As they explained, the ring comes from the Ritual of the Calling of the Engineer. In this ritual, an engineer wears an iron ring on the pinky to symbolize pride in the profession but maintaining a humility to serve others.

In my travels, I've come across two kinds of people.  Those who take pride in whatever they do, and those who simply go through the motions.  I spoken to a Marine who bragged about how important his job was, carrying the tripod to an M-60 machine gun and then I've chatted with professionals who do little more than complain about every aspect of the job.

Which are you?

It seems to me that if you're going to be in a profession, it wouldn't hurt to pick something you could be proud of.  After all, we spend the better part of our finest hours at work.  I'm not saying we should live to work, but if we're going to be working, how about taking pride in it?  Imagine what would happen if everybody did:

• Gate agents for airlines would make it their personal responsibility to make sure you made flight connections.
• Mail would be delivered to the correct addressee every time.
• The person at the drive-through window of a fast food joint would personally inspect your bag to make sure your order was correct.
• Telecommuters would truly "work from home."

I already thoroughly enjoy my profession so taking pride comes easier but I'm really going to examine my attitude towards it this week and make sure it's correct.  Why not do the same for yourself?

Time for some Spring Cleaning!

Even though the weather here in Maryland fluctuates between gorgeous and crappy, there's not doubt Spring is in the air!

Although I used to enjoy the cold winters, I'm now a full-fledged member of the "I Hate Winter" Fan Club. 

With the oncoming Spring comes the annual Spring Cleaning most of us do.  As I went through my home office this weekend, it made me think about doing some internal Spring Cleaning.  Without removing the junk, there's no room for new growth.  If I wanted to turn my basement into a state-of-the-art home theater, the first order of business would be to get rid of the junk right?  What junk do you need to get rid of to grow this year?  Here are some suggestions.

Negativity.  Have you ever noticed how negativity is contagious?  Hang around negative people long enough and you'll start whining like them.  I know. I've been there.  Clearing the negativity from your life might mean staying away from negative people, which could also mean friends and family.  Just think about it.

Anger.  What makes you angry?  Sometimes anger is triggered by a single event tied to something that may have happened previously.  Those of you who have been through my workshops heard about my incident with "Shopping Cart Rage" at the Gaithersburg Costco.  The narrow aisles and sample tables are my trigger.  I know now to avoid them.  What are you doing to avoid your triggers?

Bitterness.  Did something happen to you years ago that you're still holding on to?  When I left the Navy in 1999, my old Executive Officer gave me his "blessing" telling me I'd never reach my goals of owning my own business doing training and consulting.  I must admit I held onto that anger for several years.  Finally in 2006, I realized that if Capt Richardson was even alive anymore, he'd probably long forgot about me.  I was the only one holding onto that anger.  When I let it go, I found my career move into hyperspeed!

In the coming weeks, we'll all begin to enjoy steady, sunny weather.  I'm ready for some Spring Cleaning.  I hope you are too!

Making Some Necessary Changes

Everyone talks about change management, specifically around resistance to change.  I should know.  I teach a few workshops on how to leverage and survive change.

This past week I experienced a couple of minor shifts which in turn have prepared me for a major shift in my business model.  The first one was the removal of my Leyland Cypress trees in the back yard.  These were in place when we moved in back in 2002 and they, at nearly 25 feet tall, provided a great deal of privacy from the house behind us.  Sadly, some kind of disease hit them a few years ago and they've been slowly dying.  I really didn't want to cut them down but knew eventually they could fall and damage our home or the neighbor's.  With the Snowmaggedon event this winter, even more branches came down.  So we took them down this weekend.  Traumatic!  Interestingly enough though, it wasn't nearly as bad as I though it would be.  With some smaller replacements, we may have some semblance of privacy again soon.

The second change was my decision to shave the beard and mustache that have been a part of me for nearly 10 years.  I started looking in the mirror and saw Wilford Brimley looking back at me.  I felt like an aging walrus.  Yes it was traumatic too!  My daughter said I looked like Lord Voldemort from the Harry Potter movies.  A few days later, it's feeling a little more normal and I am getting used to it.

Are there some changes you need to make but just don't have the guts to?  I can tell you now that you ought to just do it and get it over with!  Yes, there's some pain and anxiety but like the quick ripping off of the band-aid, it's better to get it done!

As for my major change, it's the shift away from career coaching and outplacement and into management development.  Career Fitness Coach, LLC will remain as the parent, but my new company The Management Foundry will be the brand you'll know me for.  My goal is to help companies forge their next great generation of managers.  Yes, it's exciting but I'm already gathering flack for not focusing on leadership.  You'll know why in a few weeks!

So anyway, that's the big news!  Big changes and bigger ones on the way!  What about you?  Are you ready to get off the fence and make something happen?  I hope so!