The People Skills Blog

The Frightening Specter of Change

Yesterday, I spent the day in Troy, NY helping a group of managers grapple with some major organizational changes.  As I took them through the standard course materials, I realized they weren't "getting it."  Deviating from the script, I turned off the PowerPoint (which I can't stand by the way!) and we had a heart to heart.  It went something like this:

All of us are frustrated right now with the progress in the Gulf, capping the errant oil well.  Oil is still escaping and is now impacting beaches from Louisiana to Florida.  There is public pressure on BP and now citizens are misguidedly boycotting BP gas stations (those are independent franchises people - those hard-working Americans didn't cause the spill so QUIT harassing them!) while others call for the government to step in.  With all of those challenges, it would be easy for everyone involved to just throw up their hands and walk away.  The problem is, the oil just keeps coming out.  All of those predictions that the world will run out of oil aren't really that dire.  This could go on for years.  Somebody has got to step up and keep at it!

The managers in Troy would never give up, but some of their superstar staff members are.  They can't afford to quit and I know they won't.  They just need a chance to vent in a safe place and get back in the game.  Change, even a good change, is frightening.  Good managers, using my now famous analogy, need to keep the "pack" together, and keep them moving forward. 

How are you doing with change?  Are you paralyzed by it or do you need some time to process, vent, and then get back in the game?  I'm seriously considering re-working my business model to cut way back on my 90% travel schedule.  The prospects are scary for me too, but the benefits will far outweigh in the long run. I'm not going to let it stop me.   What will you be doing this week to deal with change?

These are the "Good Ol' Days"

This past week I took some downtime and went to Virginia Beach.  While there, we reconnected with our old boss from Naval Hospital Long Beach, Todd Graef.  It was great getting together and talking over the old times.

One of the things Todd mentioned was how in hindsight, some of the toughest times are the ones we refer to as the "good ol' days."   Ironically, the time I spent in Long Beach represented some of the darkest days in my personal life, yet as we talked over good food and wine, I realized then how much fun those years were.  More importantly, I realized how important the lessons I learned during that period have helped me build a successful business. 

When you think of the "good ol' days", what comes to mind?  Most often I find it either involves a particularly satisfying work experience, or some meaningful friendships.  It's rare that both happen at the same time.  For the longest time I looked back at my 15 years in the Navy as a stressful waste of time but after re-focusing, most of the bad times came from bad bosses.  After separating that from the equation, I realized how much fun my time in Australia, Long Beach, Guam, and Bremerton, Washington actually was.  Then I focused on the lessons I learned from the experiences.  Finally, I entered the bad bosses back into the equation and looked at their behavior as a lesson learned that I could share.   The end result?  My 15 year career was pretty darned good and I left it with a host of great information, lessons, and examples I can use now in business!

So how do you see the "good ol' days?"  Is it possible that a bad situation you're experiencing now could in fact someday be one of the best times in your life? 

All of us have a chance to define what will be our past each and every day.  What are you doing today to make this day one of the "good ol' days"?

3 Lessons from a Disappointing Loss

Last week I told you about my daughter's dilemma on her soccer team and how she is determined to give 100% to keep her roster spot.  So far, she is doing well and as far as we know, her position is safe.  Saturday though I witnessed something quite profound at her game that I think you'll appreciate.

As we watched our girls warming up, I couldn't help but notice how big the girls from the other team were.  Some looked to be around 15 or 16.  I was a little nervous wondering how our team would perform.  When the game started, our girls went on the attack, running extremely hard and frustrating the other team.  By the end of the half, they were up 3 to 0!

The second half was a much different story.  Our girls seemed to run out of gas and the other team pressed hard. The momentum shifted and we lost the game 5 to 3.  It was extremely disappointing for them and for us too! 

What did I learn?

1. No matter how ominous the challenge looks, run hard at it and you'll have a much better chance of succeeding.
2. If you find yourself succeeding when you though you'd fail, be sure to keep doing what worked for you!
3. If you find yourself failing, don't quit.  Take some time to regroup, figure out what's working and what's not, and then make adjustments.

My hope is that our team learns from this game.  I know I certainly took something away from it!  Hopefully this helps.

Have a great week!

Pushing Yourself Through Challenging Times

Last Friday, my eleven-year-old daughter was really bummed.  Her soccer coach mentioned that some new girls would be trying out for their team (she plays for MSI Classic in Maryland) and that he might be making some cuts.  Now she's a good soccer player - a goal keeper, but she doesn't start.  Making matters worse, one of the girls, the team's star player,  looked at her when the coach mentioned cuts - as if she would be the first to go.

Now I can understand that feeling.  I was cut from my 8th grade basketball team.  It hurts.  Mind you, she was not cut, but the word was out.  It could happen.

That night we had a conversation about it.  I told her that the only thing she had control over was her performance during the remaining four weeks of the season.  She could either choose to give up now, or work as hard as she could to retain her spot on the team.

I mentioned Tim Tebow, the newest member of the Denver Broncos football team.  Tebow is known as much for his lack of NFL-ready quarterback skills as he is for his insane work ethic.  He was projected to be a second or most likely third round pick, and probably to be used as a receiver or only in Wildcat formations.  Ironically, the two other quarterbacks most likely to get picked in the first round of the NFL draft, Colt McCoy and Jimmy Clausen fell to the second round while the Broncos traded up to get Tebow in the first round, specifically to be a quarterback.  The difference means that Tebow will make a lot more money by virtue of his first round selection.  We won't know for awhile whether the Broncos screwed up with this move or were exceptionally brilliant.  Regardless, they paid more for a player with heart than for one with skills. 

Time will tell if my daughter's new-found drive will save her spot on the team but at least she will go out swinging.  I'm proud of her and hope she keeps her spot.

What about you?  Are you willing to push yourself harder when faced with a challenge or do you simply fold?  Win or lose, at least by pushing yourself you can console yourself that you gave it your best shot.  I've won and lost business but have never lost a project because I didn't push myself.  It's part of the game.  I'm still up for the challenge.  Are you?

Taking Pride in Your Profession

This past week I had an incredible time teaching management skills to a great group of managers at Pratt & Whitney Canada in Longueuill, QC. The group was a mix of all different types of people but heavily represented by engineers. 

One of the things I noticed in the engineers was the pride they took in the little silver pinky rings on their fingers.  As they explained, the ring comes from the Ritual of the Calling of the Engineer. In this ritual, an engineer wears an iron ring on the pinky to symbolize pride in the profession but maintaining a humility to serve others.

In my travels, I've come across two kinds of people.  Those who take pride in whatever they do, and those who simply go through the motions.  I spoken to a Marine who bragged about how important his job was, carrying the tripod to an M-60 machine gun and then I've chatted with professionals who do little more than complain about every aspect of the job.

Which are you?

It seems to me that if you're going to be in a profession, it wouldn't hurt to pick something you could be proud of.  After all, we spend the better part of our finest hours at work.  I'm not saying we should live to work, but if we're going to be working, how about taking pride in it?  Imagine what would happen if everybody did:

• Gate agents for airlines would make it their personal responsibility to make sure you made flight connections.
• Mail would be delivered to the correct addressee every time.
• The person at the drive-through window of a fast food joint would personally inspect your bag to make sure your order was correct.
• Telecommuters would truly "work from home."

I already thoroughly enjoy my profession so taking pride comes easier but I'm really going to examine my attitude towards it this week and make sure it's correct.  Why not do the same for yourself?

Time for some Spring Cleaning!

Even though the weather here in Maryland fluctuates between gorgeous and crappy, there's not doubt Spring is in the air!

Although I used to enjoy the cold winters, I'm now a full-fledged member of the "I Hate Winter" Fan Club. 

With the oncoming Spring comes the annual Spring Cleaning most of us do.  As I went through my home office this weekend, it made me think about doing some internal Spring Cleaning.  Without removing the junk, there's no room for new growth.  If I wanted to turn my basement into a state-of-the-art home theater, the first order of business would be to get rid of the junk right?  What junk do you need to get rid of to grow this year?  Here are some suggestions.

Negativity.  Have you ever noticed how negativity is contagious?  Hang around negative people long enough and you'll start whining like them.  I know. I've been there.  Clearing the negativity from your life might mean staying away from negative people, which could also mean friends and family.  Just think about it.

Anger.  What makes you angry?  Sometimes anger is triggered by a single event tied to something that may have happened previously.  Those of you who have been through my workshops heard about my incident with "Shopping Cart Rage" at the Gaithersburg Costco.  The narrow aisles and sample tables are my trigger.  I know now to avoid them.  What are you doing to avoid your triggers?

Bitterness.  Did something happen to you years ago that you're still holding on to?  When I left the Navy in 1999, my old Executive Officer gave me his "blessing" telling me I'd never reach my goals of owning my own business doing training and consulting.  I must admit I held onto that anger for several years.  Finally in 2006, I realized that if Capt Richardson was even alive anymore, he'd probably long forgot about me.  I was the only one holding onto that anger.  When I let it go, I found my career move into hyperspeed!

In the coming weeks, we'll all begin to enjoy steady, sunny weather.  I'm ready for some Spring Cleaning.  I hope you are too!

Making Some Necessary Changes

Everyone talks about change management, specifically around resistance to change.  I should know.  I teach a few workshops on how to leverage and survive change.

This past week I experienced a couple of minor shifts which in turn have prepared me for a major shift in my business model.  The first one was the removal of my Leyland Cypress trees in the back yard.  These were in place when we moved in back in 2002 and they, at nearly 25 feet tall, provided a great deal of privacy from the house behind us.  Sadly, some kind of disease hit them a few years ago and they've been slowly dying.  I really didn't want to cut them down but knew eventually they could fall and damage our home or the neighbor's.  With the Snowmaggedon event this winter, even more branches came down.  So we took them down this weekend.  Traumatic!  Interestingly enough though, it wasn't nearly as bad as I though it would be.  With some smaller replacements, we may have some semblance of privacy again soon.

The second change was my decision to shave the beard and mustache that have been a part of me for nearly 10 years.  I started looking in the mirror and saw Wilford Brimley looking back at me.  I felt like an aging walrus.  Yes it was traumatic too!  My daughter said I looked like Lord Voldemort from the Harry Potter movies.  A few days later, it's feeling a little more normal and I am getting used to it.

Are there some changes you need to make but just don't have the guts to?  I can tell you now that you ought to just do it and get it over with!  Yes, there's some pain and anxiety but like the quick ripping off of the band-aid, it's better to get it done!

As for my major change, it's the shift away from career coaching and outplacement and into management development.  Career Fitness Coach, LLC will remain as the parent, but my new company The Management Foundry will be the brand you'll know me for.  My goal is to help companies forge their next great generation of managers.  Yes, it's exciting but I'm already gathering flack for not focusing on leadership.  You'll know why in a few weeks!

So anyway, that's the big news!  Big changes and bigger ones on the way!  What about you?  Are you ready to get off the fence and make something happen?  I hope so!

The Necessary Step of "Doing"

This past week I spent the an entire day speaking to high school students at Seneca Valley High School here in Germantown, MD.  Each year, the school coordinates an awesome career day where they bring in professionals to speak to the students throughout the day about their particular jobs. 

Since what I do encompasses several areas, I chose to speak to them about being a career coach.  Rather than talk about it, I simply took them through 10 principles I use to help others (and myself of course) reach success.  It's important for them to learn these principles now instead of approaching career development haphazardly. The principles are:

1. Define who you really are.

2. Define success. 

3. Dream big and set good goals. 

4. Let go of assumed constraints. 

5. Commit to continuous learning. 

6. Expand your network.

7. Get better.

8. Create your own luck.

9. Go full speed. 

10. Never quit.

It was a good day and I think the students found  my presentation interesting and fun.  The bigger question though is how many will heed the advice and make a difference? 

There's no shortage of good advice on this planet.  I was in a Border's Book Store this weekend and couldn't believe just how many good books are for sale in the "Self-Help" section.  With all of this valuable information, why isn't everyone successful?  Simple.  There is the necessary step of "doing." 

Often when I teach a workshop, I get participants who comment how the material is something they've already done.  Fine.  The bigger question is what have you done with that info? What will you do with it now?

This week, let's all make a plan to take the necessary step of "doing."  Maybe just one simple thing.  I'm willing to bet doing one thing leads to doing many things.  It just might lead to the breakthrough we all need.  Are you in?

Encouragement is not an Annual Event

This week is the all-important Maryland School Assessments (MSA) here in Montgomery County.  This exam is a test of reading and math achievement that meets the testing requirements of the federal No Child Left Behind Act.

What's not widely publicized is that schools whose students don't score well get put on a School Improvement Process which is a complete assessment of what's being done and a look at the root cause.  In worst case scenario, senior staff might get canned and certain programs dropped from the school.

Now I've watched both of my kids endure the MSA for nearly 10 years and each year, the teachers spend a few weeks before the test getting the kids pumped up.  They come home with special instructions to sleep better and suggestions on the right breakfast to eat before the test.  The hope is that kids will perform well and the scores will be great.

I won't go into my personal opinion of how useless the MSA is considering kids get taken out of regular learning for several weeks to go into test prep which of course won't really measure learning.  The end-of-test brain dump is an annual event as well.  I'm more interested in the motivation used on the kids.

Last week, my 8th grade son got a handwritten postcard from his homeroom teacher which was inscribed "Good luck on the test."  It made me wonder...if these kids were encouraged from the first time they stepped into the classroom, would the MSA even be necessary or at a minimum, would extra motivation be needed to pass the test?

You see, the bottom line here is that the kids really have no dog in this fight.  Truth be told, there's nothing in this for them, particularly my 8th grader who goes to a private school next year.  If the kids really knew this, they'd completely blow the test off.  Hence, the need to get them engaged!

Both of my kids have great teachers and some that aren't as great.  Students on the other hand seem to be either hot or cold.  Some great scholars (my kids seem to be in this group - A's and B's across the board - yes, I'm bragging!) and those who really don't care.  I wonder what would happen if teachers made an effort to challenge the hot students and encourage the cold ones year round?

Taking this out of the school setting and into the workplace now, are you doing something each day as a supervisor to encourage your staff?    The bigger question is:  does your team see the big picture regarding your organization?  Do they see something in it for them?  Do they have a dog in the fight?  If not, you might want to re-think how you communicate your strategy to them.

If you're not in a management role, are you encouraging those around you?  Have you asked your boss to show you the "big picture" so you know what success looks like?  If not, you're tempting fate when layoffs come - how can you show your value if you don't know what the value adds to?

Once a year is not enough if you're looking for sustained performance.  Why not take some time this week to encourage somebody?   

You're the Greatest? Prove it!

I am the greatest, I said that even before I knew I was. Muhammad Ali.

When we read a quote like that one, most of us just roll our eyes.  After all, many athletes today brag on their greatness, "guarantee" victory, or simply carry themselves like they belong in another stratosphere.  But before all of them, there was Muhammad Ali.

I know some of my readers, like me, are old enough to remember Ali in his prime, when he took on all comers.  I thought about Ali this weekend while watching the NBA All-Star Slam Dunk contest highlights.  Ironically, this contest never seems to have the league superstars in it.  Most of them opt out.  Then I think about the Major League Baseball All-Star Home Run Derby.  That too is mostly competed in by second tier stars.  The players who in fact could run away with that title simply opt out.  Finally I think about the NFL Scouting Combine which runs in late winter.  It's a week-long opportunity for college football players to showcase their talent for NFL scouts.  Yet the players with the most NFL potential opt out of the competition, preferring to do individual workouts for NFL teams.  It seems nobody wants to prove their talent, choosing instead to let their reputation carry them.  It's almost as if they're afraid somebody may come along and actually defeat them.

Almost once a year, I face a hostile or challenging audience in a workshop.  It causes me to pause, rethink my strategy, and work some tough magic to bring them back.  While it's a tough challenge and stresses me out, it also reminds me that I always need to compete, to push myself lest I fall into the trap of complacency.  I always leave a session like that feeling a renewed sense of energy and personal growth.  I like to think my audience feels the same.

What about you?  Do you profess greatness only to duck away from a challenge or fierce competition?

Several years ago, I worked for a trade association where one of our members, and insurance provider, took great pride in his standing as a member.  He could do this since his company provided a huge revenue stream each year as a result of his exclusive arrangement to provide services to members.  When we had our Annual Conferences, he would always put up a fuss if we allowed his competitors to exhibit, and God forbid we ever allow them to put up their pop-up displays near his.  I always wondered...if he was a good as he said he was, why wouldn't he want his competitors to be placed right next to him so he could easily compare his services to theirs?  Why would he fear competition?  As it happens, his arrangement eventually ended and I haven't heard much from him since.

I understand outstanding college quarterbacks Tim Tebow and Colt McCoy are eagerly awaiting the NFL Scouting Combine.  Both have been criticized as not having the skills to compete at that position in the NFL.  Rather than do private screenings, they've opted to compete in public, even risking being seen not only by scouts, but the public too.  Both claim to have NFL-worthy skills.  Now they intend to prove it.

This week, let's all take a hard look at the last time we really proved our worth.  If it's been awhile, why not look for a challenging opportunity where the stakes are really high.  The kind of opportunity where failure could really hurt, but winning could increase our value, reputation, and marketability.  I won't suggest you brag a-la Muhammad Ali, but just knowing you are the greatest can certainly boost your morale!