The People Skills Blog

Attitude is a Choice

Have you ever had a job you hated?  I'm sure you have.  If so, I'm also sure you had to put on a "face" each day in order to survive.

That "face" you have to put on is really a simple term for a great attitude.  It's making the choice to make the very best of a bad situation.

Yesterday, I went to the local grocery store to pick up some hamburger buns.  The cashier was so friendly and upbeat that I saw nearly every one of the grim faced customers ahead of me in line perk up and leave with a big smile.  It was amazing to see and experience the energy that her positive attitude had on everyone.

Contrast that with another of the cashiers in the same store.  Several weeks ago I went through his line and asked him how he was doing. 

"Bad," he replied.  "I'm so depressed that I can't even function."

Wow," I said.  "Is it REALLY that bad?"

"I'm so miserable here that there is nothing on this planet that can make things better."

It was kind of disturbing and somewhat frightening.  I could have been speaking to that Disney character Eyore.  I have no clue what was going on in that man's head or in his life, but for that day it even depressed me.  He's still there (I saw him yesterday) so hopefully he's been able to sort out what's going on.

Here's my point.  Regardless of how you feel about a situation, your attitude is your choice.  By making the conscious decision to be positive, you'll make those around you happier and start feeling better yourself.

Many years ago while serving in the Navy, I was arm-twisted into giving dental health presentations at a local elementary school in Cerritos, CA. for Children's Dental Health Week.  I was irritated, annoyed, and just plain old grumpy having to do this.  Interestingly enough though, once I made the conscious choice to be positive in front of the kids, I actually had a great time.  The kids fed off my energy and I fed off theirs.  Each class laughed, got grossed out at the nasty photos of rotten teeth I showed them, and probably left with a renewed interest in brushing their teeth.  I realized that day how much I enjoyed doing presentations and it pushed me into my current career - which I am grateful for each and every day!

So this week, regardless of the circumstance or situation, make an effort to be positive.  You can create your atmosphere and environment, positive or negative, so figure out which one you'd rather have!

Taking Pride in Your Profession

This past week I had an incredible time teaching management skills to a great group of managers at Pratt & Whitney Canada in Longueuill, QC. The group was a mix of all different types of people but heavily represented by engineers. 

One of the things I noticed in the engineers was the pride they took in the little silver pinky rings on their fingers.  As they explained, the ring comes from the Ritual of the Calling of the Engineer. In this ritual, an engineer wears an iron ring on the pinky to symbolize pride in the profession but maintaining a humility to serve others.

In my travels, I've come across two kinds of people.  Those who take pride in whatever they do, and those who simply go through the motions.  I spoken to a Marine who bragged about how important his job was, carrying the tripod to an M-60 machine gun and then I've chatted with professionals who do little more than complain about every aspect of the job.

Which are you?

It seems to me that if you're going to be in a profession, it wouldn't hurt to pick something you could be proud of.  After all, we spend the better part of our finest hours at work.  I'm not saying we should live to work, but if we're going to be working, how about taking pride in it?  Imagine what would happen if everybody did:

• Gate agents for airlines would make it their personal responsibility to make sure you made flight connections.
• Mail would be delivered to the correct addressee every time.
• The person at the drive-through window of a fast food joint would personally inspect your bag to make sure your order was correct.
• Telecommuters would truly "work from home."

I already thoroughly enjoy my profession so taking pride comes easier but I'm really going to examine my attitude towards it this week and make sure it's correct.  Why not do the same for yourself?

Making Some Necessary Changes

Everyone talks about change management, specifically around resistance to change.  I should know.  I teach a few workshops on how to leverage and survive change.

This past week I experienced a couple of minor shifts which in turn have prepared me for a major shift in my business model.  The first one was the removal of my Leyland Cypress trees in the back yard.  These were in place when we moved in back in 2002 and they, at nearly 25 feet tall, provided a great deal of privacy from the house behind us.  Sadly, some kind of disease hit them a few years ago and they've been slowly dying.  I really didn't want to cut them down but knew eventually they could fall and damage our home or the neighbor's.  With the Snowmaggedon event this winter, even more branches came down.  So we took them down this weekend.  Traumatic!  Interestingly enough though, it wasn't nearly as bad as I though it would be.  With some smaller replacements, we may have some semblance of privacy again soon.

The second change was my decision to shave the beard and mustache that have been a part of me for nearly 10 years.  I started looking in the mirror and saw Wilford Brimley looking back at me.  I felt like an aging walrus.  Yes it was traumatic too!  My daughter said I looked like Lord Voldemort from the Harry Potter movies.  A few days later, it's feeling a little more normal and I am getting used to it.

Are there some changes you need to make but just don't have the guts to?  I can tell you now that you ought to just do it and get it over with!  Yes, there's some pain and anxiety but like the quick ripping off of the band-aid, it's better to get it done!

As for my major change, it's the shift away from career coaching and outplacement and into management development.  Career Fitness Coach, LLC will remain as the parent, but my new company The Management Foundry will be the brand you'll know me for.  My goal is to help companies forge their next great generation of managers.  Yes, it's exciting but I'm already gathering flack for not focusing on leadership.  You'll know why in a few weeks!

So anyway, that's the big news!  Big changes and bigger ones on the way!  What about you?  Are you ready to get off the fence and make something happen?  I hope so!

With Will and Focus, You Can Fix Anything!

Take these three items, some WD-40, a vice grip, and a roll of duct tape. Any man worth his salt can fix almost any problem with this stuff alone.

Walt Kowalski (portrayed by Clint Eastwood) - Gran Torino

This past week I had the privilege of working with a great group of working managers in Irving, TX.  Most were long term employees with this company that had been promoted to a management role just two years before.  These 12 men, on a daily basis, faced down a myriad of problems ranging from a changing customer base to difficulty screening and hiring qualified employees.

As I worked them through three days of fundamental management skills training, I couldn't help but notice how they soaked all the information in.  They did this while handing crisis after crisis from their workplace and still managed to have a great sense of humor.  When their HR manager asked me on the last day how it went, I commented on how well they responded.   After talking with him about what they faced as managers, we agreed that these guys could indeed fix any problem with the managerial equivalent of WD-40, vice grips, and duct tape. 

You probably know I crisscross the country teaching and facilitating management and leadership development workshops in a wide range of industries.  My workshops vary in size and scope but I have the most fun working with groups like this one in Texas.  They have the will to do the job and they are certainly focused, they just need more skill.  With the skills I taught them, they left with the mindset they could handle anything.  I know they can!

What does this mean for you?

Training is great if all you need is skill.  There is much more to great performance than just skill however.  If you read my book The New Rules of Engagement: How to Keep Your Superstars Loyal to You, you'll find out how important having skill, will, and focus is.  Skill can be taught, but will has to come from within.  Focus follows, but you have to WANT to do well in order to become effective.

Think about that this week as you watch your boss in action, or better, as you lead your own team.  Are you in the role to become the best or just taking up space, flaunting your positional authority.  If you don't attempt to fix problems without tools, how will you expect to do it when you get some good ones?  Skill can be had...you better find the will and the focus!  My friends from the workshop last week certainly did!

The Not-So-Secret Formula for Job Security

Always give a hundred percent, and you'll never have to second-guess yourself - Tommy John

This past weekend, my mom ecstatically shared some very good news with me.  Her company had just given her a 5% raise which was much more than the 3% given to the other employees.  Her boss shared that "insider" news with her because he wanted her to know how much he appreciated her doing her job AND anything else that needed to be done.  The interesting thing was that this 5% raise only came out to 60 cents more an hour but it was all the small company could afford.  For my mom, who used to pull down a big salary working in HR at a large defense contractor, the raise was very small but for her, the recognition made all the difference in the world.

While some say our Great Recession is coming to an end, there are still a ton of people out of work and others who still fear the dreaded pink slip.  What if I told you the secret to keeping that job or showing you're qualified for a better one was a simple formula?  Would you implement it?  I hope so.  Here it is:

Do the job you were hired to do to 100% completion and then look for something else to do.

Simple isn't it?  Then why don't more people do it?

Most people I speak with view work as an entitlement.  When something is an entitlement, it also becomes something that we take for granted.  When something is taken for granted, our attitudes toward it change to one of expectation.  Before we know it, we look at our job or employer as our adversary and it's our job to do as little as possible to get by and then live for weekends and holidays, only to dread the aftermath of returning to the job.

Before we know it, work is a politically-charged environment where a subjective boss rewards everyone else but us (and of course nobody works as hard as we do right?) so that now we do even less - just enough to get by.

How do I know this?  It used to be the way I looked at work.  It's also what I see as I travel around the country, working with lots of different organizations in both the public and private sector.  It's depressing listening to all the stories, but seldom do I hear anything but whining.

Maybe it would help to focus on the things we can change and not on those we can't. 

• We can't control what our boss does, but we can work as hard as we can.
• We can't control the reward systems, but we can work as hard as we can.
• We can't help that others slack off and get rewarded, but we can work as hard as we can.
• We can't change subjective performance management systems, but we can work as hard as we can.

Do you notice a theme?

We're only a couple of weeks into the new year.  Why don't we all make a resolution to give 100% in everything we do.  At worst, we can sleep better at night.  At best, we'll be rewarded for our effort.  I'm in...are you?

Successfully Navigating the "Red Zone"

As we near the end of the year, many of us are thinking about the new year to come and some of the goals and aspirations we want to accomplish.  I'm also sure many of you (and me included) are lamenting the fact some stuff didn't get done.

Most people I know start out a year with some short and long term goals and then get busy, pretty quickly, getting them done.  Personally I've often noticed that most goals are easy to achieve up to a point.  Then for some reason, I get ground to a halt.  This seems a lot like the American football phenomenon of the red zone defense.

One of the biggest challenges a football team faces is when they get down into their opponent's "red zone."  This is the area between the 20 yard line and the end zone.  Of course the goal of the offense is to move through the 20 yards and score, but these are often the toughest yards to get for the following reasons:

• The defense has to spread less - there isn't as much field to cover
• With the thread of the immanent score, defenses tend to tighten up
• If the defense is playing at home, it's hard for the offense to hear the signals of the quarterback due to the crowd noise
• Protecting your own turf is a basic human survival skill

With all this stacked against an offense, they have to work extra hard.  The best defensive teams have a remarkable ability to really lock down the red zone and thus get scored on very little.

Now this is a bunch of football speak and if you're not a fan, I've probably lost you by now but let's liken this to our own quest to score (and not in the singles' bar sense ok?).

Setting goals and making early progress is pretty easy.  I've worked with plenty of coaching clients who swear they're ready to write that book, get that job, or achieve that dream.  Most do pretty well to a point.  Then, as success is almost realized, they freeze.  Of the dozens of folks I coached on writing a book, only three managed to get it done: Pat Kastner, author of Caring to Change, Teresa Rome, author of MindOverGolfBall.com, and Bonnie Burnett, author of Halfway to the Moon.  How do you explain?

• Success means you have to set new goals.  There is a potential letdown
• Success means you open yourself up to criticism.  Everyone is excited when you say you're writing a book.  When you write a book, people then feel compelled to criticize it.  I know from experience!
• Success may not live up to the expectations you thought as you get close to reaching it.

In other words, the red zone defense tightens up on you!

What should you do?  How about putting in more effort as you near the finish line?  Realize that early success doesn't guarantee and easy finish.  The final stages of your quest may be the toughest, but keep in mind you're almost there!

I'm excited for some big breakthroughs this coming year.  Knowing the red zone will be there later in the year will help me formulate a winning strategy.  How will you break through the red zone?

Are You Really Prepared for Success?

Pray that success will not come any faster than you are able to endure it.
Elbert Hubbard

Last night my son and I were out buying some last minute Christmas (yes, "Christmas", not "Holiday") decorations when he asked me a very important question.  You see, while we were driving, we were listening to my Sirius XM radio station, The Boneyard which features classic metal from the 1970s.  The DJ mentioned the band Aerosmith was breaking up again.  Dustin asked me about it and I told him Aerosmith, like a lot of bands, went through periods of success and failure all through the years mainly because they got caught up on drugs.  In other words, they weren't mature enough to handle success. 

That same scenario plays itself out in professional sports and usually in the lives of lottery winners.  All of us long for success, but what happens when we actually get it?  Will we be prepared for it?

We're getting close to the end of the year and the big do-over that is January 1 is just around the corner.  I'm betting nobody wants to be less successful next year so if you want more success, are you preparing for it?  Here are some questions to ponder:

Do I have a strategy for attaining success? 
Everyone I know wants success, but do they have a plan to get it?  Wanting and doing are two different things.  I want to expand my business this year and do less traveling but making more money per day.  That won't happen unless I take active steps to get it done.

What will I do if and when success happens?  Do I have a plan to leverage it? 
Imagine if you were a farmer and had a "bumper" year.  You'd have to store all that extra produce right?  You'd need a process for selling the extra.  Are you ready for success?

How will you duplicate success? 
If you've done something innovative that has great results, can you recapture the magic?  Carefully track what you do so you can repeat the process next time.

Success, when properly prepared for, is what we all want and need.  Getting takes work but keeping it is the real heavy lifting.  I'm putting my plans in place for next year now.  I hope you are too!

Opportunity Knocks for Everyone...

Opportunity is missed by most because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work. Thomas Edison

This week I'm in Orlando, FL on two different projects.  The one I did today was a workshop on social networking for the National Association of RV Parks & Campgrounds (ARVC).  It turned out great and I had a lot of positive feedback, but the one thing my attendees need to do now is to implement a strategy.  In other words, this opportunity will take some action. 

I'm convinced that everyone has equal access to opportunities and luck.  This is encouraging to me because I've run into a lot of people that complain that the only luck they get is bad luck.  Now keep in mind that some circumstances are bad.  Not a whole lot we can do about that.  The part we can control is the actions  we take in spite of them.  Most of you are familiar with Kentucky Fried Chicken.  You may not know that a set of bad circumstances for its founder, Harland Sanders was the very reason for it's success today.

Sanders had a very successful restaurant in Corbin, Kentucky and achieved a lot of fame and money from it.  However, in the 1950’s a new interstate highway was planned that would bypass Corbin. Recognizing that his business was doomed, Sanders sold off his restaurant operations and after paying his bills, was reduced to living on his $105 a month Social Security checks. Confident in the quality of his fried chicken, at 62 years old, Sanders devoted himself to franchising his famous chicken. He drove all over the country, cooking batches of chicken for restaurant owners and their employees. If the reaction was favorable, he entered into a handshake agreement on a deal that stipulated a payment to him of a nickel for each chicken the restaurant sold. By 1964, Colonel Sanders had more than 600 franchised outlets for his chicken in the United States and Canada.  Ironically, he was turned down 1,099 times before he finally found a buyer.  That's what you call making the most of circumstance and taking advantage of an opportunity.

So what about you?  What are you struggling with that could be turned into a great opportunity?  Another famous person, Thomas Jefferson, was said to have  remarked, "the harder I work, the more luck I seem to find."  We live in a time where, with the leverage of technology, everyone has a fair shot at greatness.  You can publish your own books, create your own record label, run your own virtual radio station, or pretty much anything else you'd like to do.  The future is for each of us to create, not to become victims of.

I'm excited for the opportunities ahead.  I hope you are too!

What's Underneath Your Mask?

This past weekend we celebrated my favorite holiday, Halloween!  I'm not sure why I enjoy it, maybe it's all the skeletons (you probably know I love skeletons - just look at my clothing line at www.greyskullattitude.com) out there or perhaps just the huge amount of candy my kids bring home. 

It seems I'm not alone.  The average family in the U.S. spends about $40.00 on just candy.  Then there are the adults who really get into the season by donning elaborate costumes.  People seem to enjoy wearing masks and being somebody different if just for one night.

I find in my line of work that many people wear masks each and every day at work.  Martha Beck, in her  book Finding Your Own North Star speaks of these as a person's Social Self.  It's the part of us that does the sensible thing rather than what our desires and wants tell us to do.  Now don't think this means without the Social Self we'll do a bunch of deviant things, it means we often hold back what's really important to us in favor of what we think the others around us want us to be.  If you're wearing this kind of mask, life for you can be even more frightening than a bad dream with Freddy Krueger in it!

Sunday night I did a workshop with a bunch of high school students using a personality instrument.  My purpose was to help them discover early on, what their personality preferences were.  If they can figure this out early in life, before making career and relationship changes, I think it will help them make choices that will eliminate the need to wear the mask later in life.  We had a great time!  I hope they can take the information they learned and put it to use.

So what about you?  What mask are you wearing?  More importantly, what is under the mask that you wish you could show every day? If you're not sure, maybe the following questions can help you sort it out:

• What motivates you besides money?
• What kind of activities recharge your batteries?
• When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?
• What types of people are you drawn to?
• Where do you see yourself (realistically) in 20 years?
• What will you want people to say about you at your memorial service?

These are the kinds of questions that reveal what's under the mask.   I believe you can operate as the REAL you on a daily basis if you become familiar with the REAL you and work to align that with the career you're working for.  I've been able to do that and I no longer dread Mondays.  

Why not take the time this week to do some self discovery?  If you succeed,  you can proudly proclaim that you've experienced a "Halloween Miracle!"

Lessons Learned from the Marine Corps Marathon

As you may know, this past Sunday I completed my second Marine Corps Marathon in Washington DC.  As I did two years ago, I thought I'd share some of my lessons learned that of course can be applied to  everyday life (unless of course you're planning on running a marathon, then you can apply them there too!).

I didn't finish as fast as the first year, but actually felt a little better as my knee didn't bother me like it did before.  My finish time was a slow 5 hours and 19 minutes.  Not bad considering I was about 19,000 out of 30,000 so there were still runners crossing the finish line when I was on that sardine can we call the Metro on my way home.

So here are my lessons learned:

1. Once you've accomplished something, you'll always have the confidence you'll do it again.  Having done this two years ago, it never crossed my mind that I couldn't do it.  That's pretty nice to have the internal voice of confidence!  Are you looking to previous victories to boost your confidence?
    
2. Keep learning!  During and after my 2007 marathon, my left knee was really hurting me.  I thought my distance running days might be over.  Fortunately, my daughter's soccer coach at the time was a personal trainer and got me using a foam roller to loosen the muscle around my knee.  It did the trick!  No knee pain this year and a new lesson learned.  What have you learned lately?
    
3. Let people know your goal so you can be accountable to achieve it.  This year I posted a link on my Facebook page allowing my friends to track my progress.  Each time I was tired or  discouraged, I remembered that people were watching me and expecting me to finish.  It really helps to be accountable.  Who else is aware of your goals?  Are you accountable to them?
    
4. Never pass on an opportunity to promote something.  This year I launched my clothing line:  Grey Skull Attitude.  It was my milestone when I turned 45 this year.  The premise is that age is just a number, it's the attitude that makes the difference.  You can view my site at http://www.greyskullattitude.com.  I wore my shirt during the run and that too kept me from stopping.  No worse advertising I'm "Not too old to run 26.2" if I'm crashed on the side of the road right?  What are you doing to creatively promote your business (or yourself?
    
5. Continue to set new goals.  Training for marathons is grueling, but it certainly can keep a person in shape.  Rather than do it just once a year, I think I'll tackle a Spring marathon just to keep me training during the winter.  Maybe it will become a lifestyle?  Just don't expect me to wear those  skimpy shorts the Kenyans wear.  I don't want to scare people off the course.  What new goals are 
   you setting right now?

So it's a few days off to recover now and then back to some light running.  I hope these lessons learned are helpful as you begin thinking of some goals for 2010.  It's only a few months away!