The People Skills Blog

The Power of Humility

I've blogged in the past on the power of confidence over arrogance so I won't repeat that now.  Instead, I'd like to share an insight I got this past weekend at The Red Zone National Men's Conference I attended on Saturday with my dad and son Dustin.  Now this was a Christian conference but before you rush to unsubscribe, let me assure you the insight has nothing to do with religion.  Rather it's an example of confidence and humility overpowering arrogance.

In one of the breakouts on leadership, former Washington Redskins players talked about their experiences as young men in the NFL.  When asked about their greatest moment, each one responded with great humility.

• Brian Carpenter: Spoke about how impressive it was to watch Giants' linebacker Lawrence Taylor play.
• James Thrash: Talked about his first touchdown and how then Redskins Coach Norv Turner bitched him out on the sideline for hotdogging to the crowd.
• LaVar Arrington: Reflected on how great it was to take a big block from an offensive tackle so Bruce Smith could get the all-time sack record which led to his selection to the Pro Football Hall of Fame.

Each of these men certainly had great personal highlights but chose to reflect on how great it was to play with other great players.  I was impressed.  In doing this, I thought much more about these men than if each had regaled us with tales of their personal successes.

What are you doing to recognize the accomplishments of those around you?  I'm discovering that the more we lift others up, the more respect we get.  You have to give it away in order to get it.

This week I'm going to look for ways to recognize those around me and promote their accomplishments.  I think it will be pretty exciting to try.  Will you join me?

Making Some Necessary Changes

Everyone talks about change management, specifically around resistance to change.  I should know.  I teach a few workshops on how to leverage and survive change.

This past week I experienced a couple of minor shifts which in turn have prepared me for a major shift in my business model.  The first one was the removal of my Leyland Cypress trees in the back yard.  These were in place when we moved in back in 2002 and they, at nearly 25 feet tall, provided a great deal of privacy from the house behind us.  Sadly, some kind of disease hit them a few years ago and they've been slowly dying.  I really didn't want to cut them down but knew eventually they could fall and damage our home or the neighbor's.  With the Snowmaggedon event this winter, even more branches came down.  So we took them down this weekend.  Traumatic!  Interestingly enough though, it wasn't nearly as bad as I though it would be.  With some smaller replacements, we may have some semblance of privacy again soon.

The second change was my decision to shave the beard and mustache that have been a part of me for nearly 10 years.  I started looking in the mirror and saw Wilford Brimley looking back at me.  I felt like an aging walrus.  Yes it was traumatic too!  My daughter said I looked like Lord Voldemort from the Harry Potter movies.  A few days later, it's feeling a little more normal and I am getting used to it.

Are there some changes you need to make but just don't have the guts to?  I can tell you now that you ought to just do it and get it over with!  Yes, there's some pain and anxiety but like the quick ripping off of the band-aid, it's better to get it done!

As for my major change, it's the shift away from career coaching and outplacement and into management development.  Career Fitness Coach, LLC will remain as the parent, but my new company The Management Foundry will be the brand you'll know me for.  My goal is to help companies forge their next great generation of managers.  Yes, it's exciting but I'm already gathering flack for not focusing on leadership.  You'll know why in a few weeks!

So anyway, that's the big news!  Big changes and bigger ones on the way!  What about you?  Are you ready to get off the fence and make something happen?  I hope so!

Encouragement is not an Annual Event

This week is the all-important Maryland School Assessments (MSA) here in Montgomery County.  This exam is a test of reading and math achievement that meets the testing requirements of the federal No Child Left Behind Act.

What's not widely publicized is that schools whose students don't score well get put on a School Improvement Process which is a complete assessment of what's being done and a look at the root cause.  In worst case scenario, senior staff might get canned and certain programs dropped from the school.

Now I've watched both of my kids endure the MSA for nearly 10 years and each year, the teachers spend a few weeks before the test getting the kids pumped up.  They come home with special instructions to sleep better and suggestions on the right breakfast to eat before the test.  The hope is that kids will perform well and the scores will be great.

I won't go into my personal opinion of how useless the MSA is considering kids get taken out of regular learning for several weeks to go into test prep which of course won't really measure learning.  The end-of-test brain dump is an annual event as well.  I'm more interested in the motivation used on the kids.

Last week, my 8th grade son got a handwritten postcard from his homeroom teacher which was inscribed "Good luck on the test."  It made me wonder...if these kids were encouraged from the first time they stepped into the classroom, would the MSA even be necessary or at a minimum, would extra motivation be needed to pass the test?

You see, the bottom line here is that the kids really have no dog in this fight.  Truth be told, there's nothing in this for them, particularly my 8th grader who goes to a private school next year.  If the kids really knew this, they'd completely blow the test off.  Hence, the need to get them engaged!

Both of my kids have great teachers and some that aren't as great.  Students on the other hand seem to be either hot or cold.  Some great scholars (my kids seem to be in this group - A's and B's across the board - yes, I'm bragging!) and those who really don't care.  I wonder what would happen if teachers made an effort to challenge the hot students and encourage the cold ones year round?

Taking this out of the school setting and into the workplace now, are you doing something each day as a supervisor to encourage your staff?    The bigger question is:  does your team see the big picture regarding your organization?  Do they see something in it for them?  Do they have a dog in the fight?  If not, you might want to re-think how you communicate your strategy to them.

If you're not in a management role, are you encouraging those around you?  Have you asked your boss to show you the "big picture" so you know what success looks like?  If not, you're tempting fate when layoffs come - how can you show your value if you don't know what the value adds to?

Once a year is not enough if you're looking for sustained performance.  Why not take some time this week to encourage somebody?   

Who's in Charge Here Anyway?

As you know, I fly someplace nearly every week.  Many people shudder at that, some from just the hassle of navigating airports and delayed flights, but most are flat-out terrified of flying.  When I poll a group about the fear of flying, most say they'd rather drive since they feel a sense of control.  Now  most people know deep inside there's a  better chance of dying in a car crash driving to the airport than from an airline accident, but that's how powerful the need to be in control actually is.

In the past month, I've been contacted by two different individuals who are facing absolute misery at work.  One person is working for a boss who plays favorites (and she is not the "favorite" therefore having a miserable time).  The other is working for a miserable boss AND company.  In her "Retention" award for her performance in 2009, she received a check for $1,000.00 but was forced to sign an agreement that if she left in the next two years, she's have to pay it back.  Both were struggling but saw no way out.  Economic conditions have a way of going with the misery you know rather than face the misery of uncertainty.

I know times are still tough for most folks.  Bailouts haven't trickled down to everyone and I travel around this country enough to see that first hand.  What I do know is people are still hiring and the best candidates are still finding jobs.

Your choice when faced with a miserable work situation is to either shut up and take it or do something about it.

The first individual felt empowered when I told her to simply put her resume together and look for new positions.  She has yet to interview, but just the proactive step of taking control was enough to get her thinking positive again.  The second individual felt as though she was giving up by looking for a new position.  Frankly, I can't imagine working for a psycho boss or a company that attaches strings to a "Retention" award.  After giving herself permission to look elsewhere for a job, she now has a better sense of control (and I told her not to give back the $1,000.00 award.  Make those morons beg you for it!!!).

There is plenty of bad news out there.  You don't have to look far.  If you let it bring you down, you basically concede that you're powerless.  I'm not buying it.  Focus on what you can control and you'll find you have much more power than you think. 

There will come a day, in the not-too-distant future when good times will return.  Rather than wait for that day, why not take some steps right now to retake control of your destiny.  You have more power than you think!

Smoking Can Be Beneficial to Your Health!

Did you know that NOT smoking can be dangerous to your health?  Actually, I'm talking about your ORGANIZATIONAL health.  Of course cigarettes can and will still kill you. 

This past week I delivered a three-day leadership development workshop in Georgia.  One of the many issues we discussed centered around engaging employees.  Some of the attendees pined for the days when both management and staff took time away to network and toss around great ideas.  This usually happened at the designated smoking areas.  I thought about that and reflected back on my Navy days when the smoking area was the informal gathering center for similar activity.  While I didn't smoke (I used Kodiak back in those days), I do remember how much business actually was conducted there, free from the bureaucracy and rules.  In fact, more problems got solved during those meetings than during lengthy, formal staff meetings.

Has the ban on smoking resulted in a lack of organizational health?

Possibly.

Unless you provide an outlet for some type of informal networking, free from the entrapment of normal channels, you may in fact be missing out on some new ideas or solutions to chronic problems.  Should smoking be allowed and even encouraged then?

Absolutely not!

Instead, if you're in a management or supervisory role, why not set up opportunities where this informal idea exchange can occur? If you don't have that positional authority, why not establish your own forum of informal networking?  There is strength in that network that you'll need if you want to succeed in any role.

Now I realize my readers may not always be in managerial roles, but the lessons of breaking free for short periods of venting and creativity apply to all.  Are you taking time to reenergize and reengage with those around you?  If not, why not take some time this week to do so!

You're the Greatest? Prove it!

I am the greatest, I said that even before I knew I was. Muhammad Ali.

When we read a quote like that one, most of us just roll our eyes.  After all, many athletes today brag on their greatness, "guarantee" victory, or simply carry themselves like they belong in another stratosphere.  But before all of them, there was Muhammad Ali.

I know some of my readers, like me, are old enough to remember Ali in his prime, when he took on all comers.  I thought about Ali this weekend while watching the NBA All-Star Slam Dunk contest highlights.  Ironically, this contest never seems to have the league superstars in it.  Most of them opt out.  Then I think about the Major League Baseball All-Star Home Run Derby.  That too is mostly competed in by second tier stars.  The players who in fact could run away with that title simply opt out.  Finally I think about the NFL Scouting Combine which runs in late winter.  It's a week-long opportunity for college football players to showcase their talent for NFL scouts.  Yet the players with the most NFL potential opt out of the competition, preferring to do individual workouts for NFL teams.  It seems nobody wants to prove their talent, choosing instead to let their reputation carry them.  It's almost as if they're afraid somebody may come along and actually defeat them.

Almost once a year, I face a hostile or challenging audience in a workshop.  It causes me to pause, rethink my strategy, and work some tough magic to bring them back.  While it's a tough challenge and stresses me out, it also reminds me that I always need to compete, to push myself lest I fall into the trap of complacency.  I always leave a session like that feeling a renewed sense of energy and personal growth.  I like to think my audience feels the same.

What about you?  Do you profess greatness only to duck away from a challenge or fierce competition?

Several years ago, I worked for a trade association where one of our members, and insurance provider, took great pride in his standing as a member.  He could do this since his company provided a huge revenue stream each year as a result of his exclusive arrangement to provide services to members.  When we had our Annual Conferences, he would always put up a fuss if we allowed his competitors to exhibit, and God forbid we ever allow them to put up their pop-up displays near his.  I always wondered...if he was a good as he said he was, why wouldn't he want his competitors to be placed right next to him so he could easily compare his services to theirs?  Why would he fear competition?  As it happens, his arrangement eventually ended and I haven't heard much from him since.

I understand outstanding college quarterbacks Tim Tebow and Colt McCoy are eagerly awaiting the NFL Scouting Combine.  Both have been criticized as not having the skills to compete at that position in the NFL.  Rather than do private screenings, they've opted to compete in public, even risking being seen not only by scouts, but the public too.  Both claim to have NFL-worthy skills.  Now they intend to prove it.

This week, let's all take a hard look at the last time we really proved our worth.  If it's been awhile, why not look for a challenging opportunity where the stakes are really high.  The kind of opportunity where failure could really hurt, but winning could increase our value, reputation, and marketability.  I won't suggest you brag a-la Muhammad Ali, but just knowing you are the greatest can certainly boost your morale!

Service - A Key Component of Career Success

Is it just me or have you noticed how much customer service standards have really slipped?

Now keep in mind I provide customer service training as one of my company's offerings so maybe I'm a bit critical.  Maybe not though because in addition to a REALLY bad customer experience with The Fireplace Shop last week, I was also dazzled by a great customer experience with B&B Air Conditioning and Heating.  More importantly, what would this mean for individuals who are trying to add value to their organizations?

In my opinion, here are the 3 hallmarks of great service:

• Show up when you say you will
• Do an outstanding job
• Do something extra to dazzle me

Last week our heat pump went out.  I called B&B first thing in the morning and they showed up before they said they would.  They spent all day fixing the problem.  The following day, the owner called me to check in about how things were going.  He also told me his guys shouldn't have charged me for Freon removal so he told me he was going to send me a check for $160.00.  Outstanding!!!!  Oh and by the way, their service wasn't cheap.  Don't confuse cheap with great service.

What does that mean for us as individuals?

Simple.

Do what you say you are going to do.  Do the best job you can.  Do something extra.  When you're done, look for something else you can do.  Here's one for you.  On a day you're scheduled to telecommute and you know darn well you don't have anything to do, come into the office!  It's the little things like this that help you add value and prove your worth. 

None of us are indispensible.  I like to think I am but I know I'm not.  The best we can do is constantly add value.  I'm really going to think hard this week about the service I give and make a commitment to do even better.  What will you do?

With Will and Focus, You Can Fix Anything!

Take these three items, some WD-40, a vice grip, and a roll of duct tape. Any man worth his salt can fix almost any problem with this stuff alone.

Walt Kowalski (portrayed by Clint Eastwood) - Gran Torino

This past week I had the privilege of working with a great group of working managers in Irving, TX.  Most were long term employees with this company that had been promoted to a management role just two years before.  These 12 men, on a daily basis, faced down a myriad of problems ranging from a changing customer base to difficulty screening and hiring qualified employees.

As I worked them through three days of fundamental management skills training, I couldn't help but notice how they soaked all the information in.  They did this while handing crisis after crisis from their workplace and still managed to have a great sense of humor.  When their HR manager asked me on the last day how it went, I commented on how well they responded.   After talking with him about what they faced as managers, we agreed that these guys could indeed fix any problem with the managerial equivalent of WD-40, vice grips, and duct tape. 

You probably know I crisscross the country teaching and facilitating management and leadership development workshops in a wide range of industries.  My workshops vary in size and scope but I have the most fun working with groups like this one in Texas.  They have the will to do the job and they are certainly focused, they just need more skill.  With the skills I taught them, they left with the mindset they could handle anything.  I know they can!

What does this mean for you?

Training is great if all you need is skill.  There is much more to great performance than just skill however.  If you read my book The New Rules of Engagement: How to Keep Your Superstars Loyal to You, you'll find out how important having skill, will, and focus is.  Skill can be taught, but will has to come from within.  Focus follows, but you have to WANT to do well in order to become effective.

Think about that this week as you watch your boss in action, or better, as you lead your own team.  Are you in the role to become the best or just taking up space, flaunting your positional authority.  If you don't attempt to fix problems without tools, how will you expect to do it when you get some good ones?  Skill can be had...you better find the will and the focus!  My friends from the workshop last week certainly did!

The Business of Satisfying Needs

What a man can be, he must be.  Abraham Maslow.

This quote, from a 1943 paper by the famed psychologist is still taught in management courses today.  Personally, I use it when I lead management development and leadership training courses with organizations around the country.  While the mere mention of it causes eye-rolling in my audience, the principles I believe are relevant today.

The Reader's Digest version of it follows:

As humans, we move through life in search of having needs fulfilled.  The needs begin at the basic, physiological levels and move up through safety, social, esteem, and finally self-actualization.  Self-actualization is the toughest to define.  The quote at the top of the page is the definition Maslow himself coined.  It's up to such intense levels of debate these days by a wide variety of groups that suddenly Maslow seems relevant yet again (figuratively of course since he died in 1970).

Actually I wanted to focus on the basic premise of "search mode".  According to the theory, if there is any challenge to a level of need or it's actually been lost, humans shift focus and try to recapture the level.  This can be an ugly thing as we see it now played out in the ruins of Haiti as people riot after days without food, clothing, and shelter.  The same behavior is seen in organizations when there are rumors of layoffs.  "Search mode" is not quite that intense but you'll find people hunkering down, not wanting to make waves or produce out of fear for their jobs.

So what does this mean for you? 

As a manager, you'll need to tune into the needs of your people.  Whether you believe Maslow or not, people are moving targets when it comes to how they experience needs.  People are at all different stages and times in their lives.  Personally, I woke up this morning feeling good and then when I opened my Facebook page, I read of the death of one of my childhood best friends, Brian Griset.  Right now I feel really deflated.  If I was going to lead a workshop today, it would no doubt be a struggle to have a lot of energy.  Keep tuned into your people to find out what needs they have and do your best to try and satisfy them.

Personally, it's a good idea to track where you are on the hierarchy.   Take stock of where you are in your work/life balance. If there is a chance you job is going away, see what you can do to build immediate value and guarantee you'll dodge the pink slip. Reflect on what self-actualization looks like for you and take steps to work towards it.  It could be a spiritual end-state or just a really Big Hairy Audacious Goal (BHAG if you attended one of my keynotes or workshops). 

Hopefully this tip will make you think today.  I know I have.

The Not-So-Secret Formula for Job Security

Always give a hundred percent, and you'll never have to second-guess yourself - Tommy John

This past weekend, my mom ecstatically shared some very good news with me.  Her company had just given her a 5% raise which was much more than the 3% given to the other employees.  Her boss shared that "insider" news with her because he wanted her to know how much he appreciated her doing her job AND anything else that needed to be done.  The interesting thing was that this 5% raise only came out to 60 cents more an hour but it was all the small company could afford.  For my mom, who used to pull down a big salary working in HR at a large defense contractor, the raise was very small but for her, the recognition made all the difference in the world.

While some say our Great Recession is coming to an end, there are still a ton of people out of work and others who still fear the dreaded pink slip.  What if I told you the secret to keeping that job or showing you're qualified for a better one was a simple formula?  Would you implement it?  I hope so.  Here it is:

Do the job you were hired to do to 100% completion and then look for something else to do.

Simple isn't it?  Then why don't more people do it?

Most people I speak with view work as an entitlement.  When something is an entitlement, it also becomes something that we take for granted.  When something is taken for granted, our attitudes toward it change to one of expectation.  Before we know it, we look at our job or employer as our adversary and it's our job to do as little as possible to get by and then live for weekends and holidays, only to dread the aftermath of returning to the job.

Before we know it, work is a politically-charged environment where a subjective boss rewards everyone else but us (and of course nobody works as hard as we do right?) so that now we do even less - just enough to get by.

How do I know this?  It used to be the way I looked at work.  It's also what I see as I travel around the country, working with lots of different organizations in both the public and private sector.  It's depressing listening to all the stories, but seldom do I hear anything but whining.

Maybe it would help to focus on the things we can change and not on those we can't. 

• We can't control what our boss does, but we can work as hard as we can.
• We can't control the reward systems, but we can work as hard as we can.
• We can't help that others slack off and get rewarded, but we can work as hard as we can.
• We can't change subjective performance management systems, but we can work as hard as we can.

Do you notice a theme?

We're only a couple of weeks into the new year.  Why don't we all make a resolution to give 100% in everything we do.  At worst, we can sleep better at night.  At best, we'll be rewarded for our effort.  I'm in...are you?